I Have No Clue

News Anchors are people I enjoy mocking. I auditioned to be one yesterday.
My experience went as follows:

ONE: 
I entered the studio,

 and noticed the table had built in TV's.
Furthermore, my partner and I were on the screens.

I have pondered on the purpose of this 
and have concluded that
News anchors must be more narcissistic than I thought. 


I then realized how good I looked! 

TWO: 
I fumbled around with the clip-on mic for a few minutes,

 until I settled for the least-awkward spot on my super shiny blue-button up.

THREE: 
They told me to scoot closer to my anchor friend. 

I moved too close. 

They gave me sitting at a table for dummies advice.
The trick, they said, is to line your belly button up 

with the green piece of tape. 

Alignment paranoia ensued.

FOUR: 
I had no idea what to do with my limbs. 

I'll admit I copied just about every move of my partner.

FIVE: 
When I introduced myself I think I used a phone greeting, 

"This is Melissa Co- I mean, Thurm."

(can't seem to let go of my maiden name)

SIX: 
My comrade must have sensed my total absence of focus,

 and read my story. 
No Worries, 
I read his with over the top enthusiasm.
They like that, I think.

 

SEVEN: 
My shoulders did the classic
"I'm too tense to handle this well" scrunch.
Confidence Communicated. Check! 

EIGHT: 
The moisture completely disappeared 

from my lips. 
I used my tongue to moisten them. 
Couldn't have been more professional.

NINE: 
I squinted my eyes to read.   

I have perfect vision.  
Perhaps they'll fall for it as my intellectual look...

TEN: 
The script ended. My lips were twitching from my mock, 

"I'm finished, but I'm beautiful so 

you can keep looking" face.

Needless to say, I'm a natural. 

#gotthisjobinthebag #trysomethingneweveryday!